Screen Shots: Wednesday, July 31st, 2024

Welcome to Screen Shots! This is where I tell you what you should watch on TV. It’s going to be a very sports-centric list since that’s really the only thing we have left that you simply must watch live. Speaking of watching things, you should watch me on YouTube! Have your own suggestions? Shoot me an email at [email protected]!

A brief hot take to kick things off: for the lesser-known events, they should select one spectator at random to participate to give the viewer at home an idea of exactly how skilled these athletes are. This might be the only thing that saves me from pursuing a professional handball career. To the events!

Women's Triathlon Individual (Medal event) at 2 a.m. ET on USA, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: We talked about Taylor Knibb’s very rough, no good, time trial cycling day that saw her crash her bike so many times that even she’s unsure of the true number. She moves on to her 2nd event this Olympics, the triathlon, where she’s the favorite. There are actually more athletes than you think who have competed in multiple events at the same Games, but it’s still impressive nonetheless. We’re coming full circle as the very rain that caused Knibb to crash repeatedly is now needed to make the Seine River, where triathletes will be swimming, to be less poopy. My concern levels for Knibb are even higher than the Seine’s pollution levels because we know how the rain affects her biking but she also has several scrapes from her earlier falls. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer to stay out of sewage water when I have open wounds. Well, I mean all the time, but especially then. NOTE: The men’s final was postponed due to the sewage water so this one might be too.

Women's Diving Synchronized 10m Platform Final (Medal event): 5 a.m. ET on E!, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: You’ll catch me drinking from the Seine before you catch me doing this. Fear of heights aside, how in the hell do you flip around in the air 1) at all and 2) identically to another human?

Women's Basketball: Puerto Rico vs. Spain at 5 a.m. ET on Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: I had the pleasure of watching the Puerto Rican women take on the Las Vegas Aces at Colonial Life Arena back in May. Trinity San Antonio was their leading scorer then as well as in their tough loss to Serbia to open up the tournament. Important reminder: Kelsey Plum does NOT play for them.

Women's Cycling BMX Freestyle Park Final (Medal event) at 7:10 a.m. ET on USA Network, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Men's Cycling BMX Freestyle Park Final (Medal event) at 8:45 a.m. ET on USA Network, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: In my early teen years, I owned a BMX bike. I rode it like a regular bike. When you watch these competitors out there doing all of their tricks, I want you to picture me as a husky 13-year-old out there riding around leisurely. 

Men's Gymnastics: All-Around Final at 11:30 a.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: If it’s half as exciting as the team competition, it’ll be worth your time. For those of you who missed it, Team USA brought Stephen Nedoroscik, who looks like Steve Smith from American Dad!, for his pommel horse expertise. All this man does is pommel horse. You’ll never guess what their medal hopes came down to! This man got up, took off his glasses, and pommeled them to the podium. As someone with less than ideal vision, pulling this off should have raised his degree of difficulty enough to take them from bronze to gold.

Women's Soccer: Australia vs. United States at 1 p.m. ET on E!, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: The US women have already clinched a spot in the quarterfinals, but you should watch anyway just to see what Trinity Rodman does next. She only has 1 goal so far, but her brilliance is obvious and opens things up for the rest of this talented crew. Coach Emma Hayes looks like the home run hire many expected her to be. Speaking of coaches, Australia’s head coach, Tony Gustavsson, was a long-time USWNT assistant.

Men's Fencing: Sabre Team Gold Medal Match at 2:30 p.m. ET on E!, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: Mr. President, a third type of fencing has hit the Olympics. Foils and epees are for when you want to poke somebody. Looking to slash your opponent? The sabre is your weapon of choice. This allows for more ways to score points. Another difference in the foil versus epee versus sabre is the part of your opponent’s body that count for points, or “valid target area.” Foil points only count when you touch your opponent’s torso. Epee gives you points for touching any part of your opponent’s body. Sabre points come from touching anywhere above the belt.

Women's Swimming: 100m Freestyle Final (Medal event) at 2:30 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: The 2016 final was one of the wildest events I’ve seen. Penny Oleksiak of Canada and Simone Manuel of Team USA tied for the gold medal as they both touched the wall at 52.70. The win made Oleksiak the first athlete born in the 2000s to win an individual Olympic gold and made Manuel the first African-American woman to win an Olympic gold in swimming. Good luck living up to that, but tune in just in case. 

Men's Swimming: 200m Butterfly Final (Medal event) at 2:36 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: Matin Balsini will most likely be eliminated from the event by the time the finals come around, but that doesn’t matter. Balsini is part of the IOC Refugee Olympic team, consisting of athletes who have been forced from their homeland. These athletes are provided funding to train and compete in their sport. According to The UN Refugee Agency, more than 120 million refugees exist worldwide. This is the third Olympics that this team has competed in. None of their athletes have medaled yet, but I look forward to turning into a puddle when they do.

Men's Basketball: United States vs. South Sudan at 3 p.m. ET on USA Network, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: South Sudan almost pulled off one of the most improbable upsets of all time when these two teams matched up in an exhibition right before the Olympics. Carlik Jones had a triple-double in that one, which I would never shut up about. Former NBA player Luol Deng has done one hell of a job building this program. They earned their first-ever Olympic win against Puerto Rico. This is one of those beautiful stories that the Olympics are famous for.

Women's Swimming: 1500m Freestyle Final (Medal event) at 3:04 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: With the slight caveat that I’m writing this before qualifying is over, Katie Ledecky owns the 19 fastest times in the history of this event. I would have to imagine that makes her the favorite here. 

Men's Swimming: 200m Breaststroke Final (Medal event) at 4:08 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: I’ve already stated that I don’t understand this stroke at all, but it’s allegedly the oldest stroke in the history of swimming. It’s a ridiculous stroke that has undergone several rule changes to make it slightly less ridiculous. One of these rule changes took place after Japan’s Masaru Furukawa won the gold in the very same 200m distance as what we’ll watch here back in 1956. Furukawa’s technique involved completing as much of the swim underwater as possible, allowing him to go faster. Competitors attempted to copy this, but it turns out not breathing is bad and many of them passed out in the pool. 

Men's Swimming: 100m Freestyle Final (Medal event) at 4:15 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: In almost all things, the shorter the sprint, the more I enjoy it. Swimming is the exception. The 50-meter event is nice, but I feel robbed without seeing swimmers navigate a turn. The last non-American and non-Australian to win this event was Alain Bernard of France at the 2008 Games. You know him as the guy who claimed France was going to “smash” the United States in the 4x100m relay, only to be passed in the final meters by Jason Lezak to preserve Michael Phelps’ shot at eight gold medals. This is the reason why I will always believe relays slap. 

Happy watching!