Screen Shots: Saturday, August 3rd, 2024

Welcome to Screen Shots! This is where I tell you what you should watch on TV. It’s going to be a very sports-centric list since that’s really the only thing we have left that you simply must watch live. Speaking of watching things, you should watch me on YouTube! Have your own suggestions? Shoot me an email at [email protected]!

No time for pleasantries! Too many events!

Men's Cycling: Road Race (Medal event) at 5 a.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: Remember when America cared about bicycle racing? This race is 272.1km long. That seems like a lot, so I quadruple-checked. Then, I thought maybe my mental conversion was wrong, but I quintuple-checked that one and kept coming up with roughly 169 miles. I’d be doping my ass off too (allegedly!).

Women's Table Tennis: Singles Gold Medal Match at 8:30 a.m. ET on USA Network, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: An All-China match for the gold! I don’t know anything about it except it’s intense and exciting. The perfect event to start ramping up our heart rates for this full slate of competitions. 

Women's Tennis: Singles Gold Medal Match at 8:30 a.m. ET on Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: Rough showing in this one by the Americans. Coco Gauff getting into it with a chair umpire over a questionable call was the big story, but let’s not overlook Danielle Collins and Emma Navarro getting into the action by lecturing opponents on etiquette! Qinwen Zheng of China managed to survive Navarro’s scolding to make the gold medal match. Be on the lookout for politeness!

Women's Soccer Quarterfinal: United States vs. Japan at 9 a.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com 

Why you should watch: The US women have done a fantastic job of making us forget about their disappointing 2023 World Cup appearance. The highlight of the tournament so far has been a high-powered offense, but defense might be the story of this match as the Japanese squad’s own aggressive offensive attack could apply a lot of pressure to a US unit that hasn’t really been tested so far. It should be an exciting one either way!

Men's Gymnastics Floor Exercise Final (Medal event) at 9:30 a.m. ET on E!, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: As society continues to progress, it is my hope that we get to a point where male gymnasts also have music to accompany their floor exercise routines. I don’t believe any Americans qualified for this one. In a country where football players perform celebratory backflips with ease in full pads, this seems impossible. It is your civic duty to watch this and help me figure out what the hell is going on.

Women's Badminton: Doubles Gold Medal Match at 10:10 a.m. ET on CNBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: I have played pickleball. I like pickleball. I can’t say that I enjoy how pickleball is taking over other spaces that I enjoy. Badminton would never. You don’t see them commandeering neighborhood basketball and tennis courts. I don’t even know where they play. They mind their business and show up every 4 years to entertain us. The least we can do is cheer them on.

Women's Gymnastics Vault Final (Medal event) at 10:20 a.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: The “2 gymnasts per country” rule is once again robbing us, but we’re still going to get one hell of a show. For starters, the vault is awesome. Then, assuming they participate, Simone Biles and Rebeca Andrade are two of the best vaulters ever. Biles has two vault elements named after her, including the most difficult one on the apparatus. Jade Carey also qualified for Team USA. She won gold in the vault at the 2022 World Championships to go along with the gold she won at the Tokyo Olympics in Floor Exercise.

Men's Tennis: Doubles Gold Medal Match at 11 a.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: The US versus Australia! Aussie John Peers’ doubles partner at one time was Jamie Murray, the older brother of British tennis legend Andy Murray. Andy has been playing professionally since 2005. This Olympic Games was his last tournament before retiring. Upon losing to end his career, he hilariously tweeted, “Never even liked tennis anyway.”

Women's Soccer Quarterfinal: Spain vs. Colombia at 11 a.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: I previewed the 2023 World Cup with my dear friend, Brett. He was very high on Spain’s Alexia Putellas, but, unfortunately, she wasn’t as recovered from an injury as we had thought so she didn’t play the role she would have played otherwise. However, it didn’t matter for the Spanish women, as Olga Carmona stepped up and helped lead the team to the World Cup title. Many of the key contributors from that run have returned, and it looks like Putellas might have returned to form.

Men's Gymnastics Pommel Horse Final (Medal event) at 11:10 a.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: Stephen Nedoroscik was brought to Paris to pommel horse. Nothing else. He sat around, like you and me, while his teammates battled it out during the Team All-Around final. Then, as fate would have it, they needed a big score on the pommel horse to clinch their first medal since 2008. Up pops Stephen, who proceeded to remove his glasses a la Clark Kent, and nail his routine to secure the bronze. It was like watching someone kick a game-winning field goal except athletic. He’s already a hero, but he can become a legend if he comes out and pommels this horse to an individual gold.

Men's Basketball: Puerto Rico vs. United States at 11:15 a.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: Puerto Rico men’s basketball is the Buster Douglas to our Mike Tyson. I couldn’t imagine anybody beating our Olympic team, much less drilling them the way Carlos Arroyo and friends did. 92-73! Are you kidding me?!? Larry Brown’s dumbass was playing Richard Jefferson over LeBron and Carmelo. An outstanding 3-16 performance from Richard, by the way. It was terrible. I still have flashbacks when I hear “Oye Mi Canto.” LeBron, somehow, is still here. It’s time for revenge. I’ll take care of Richard myself.

Women's Soccer Quarterfinal: Canada vs. Germany at 1 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: It’s amazing that Canada is even here after a six-point deduction due to going full New England Patriots. They won gold at the Tokyo Games, but all that has been thrown into question with this scandal being brought to light. At what point do they go from cheating evil doers to loveable underdogs? I’m not sure, but one thing we can all agree on is the Houston Astros should be stripped of the 2017 World Series.

Men's Track & Field: Shot Put Final (Medal event) at 1:10 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: American Ryan Crouser is looking to make history by becoming the first shot putter ever to win 3 Olympic gold medals. He’s also the world record holder with a throw of 23.56m (77’3.75”) last May. The men’s shot put weighs 16 lbs. Go to your local basketball court and ask the pickleballers to move. Then, try to throw a Bichon Frisé from the baseline to the other free throw line. Not nearly as easy as you’ve imagined. In this track and field preview, Coach Herbert Johnson said another Crouser gold is a done deal. Tune in so you can tell your grandchildren that you saw history being made when they ask you why you are no longer legally allowed within 500 feet of dog parks.

Women's Fencing: Sabre Team Gold Medal Match at 2 p.m. ET on E!, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: If this scene in 1998’s The Parent Trap is the greatest fencing performance ever, then Lindsay Lohan’s portrayal of both characters makes it the greatest double in fencing history as well. That could change if the US women bring home the gold in this one. They’ve already made history by winning the first Olympic gold in the history of US team fencing with their performance in the foil. My key to victory: lizards in the opponents’ water bottles!

Women's Track & Field: Triple Jump Final at 2:20 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: Yulimar Rojas of Venezuela has dominated this event since 2017, but she’s out with an injury. When you look at how it’s done, you wonder how anybody does it without getting hurt. Trying to explain the technique gives me vertigo. 

Tia LaFond of Dominica and Leyanis Pérez of Cuba have the top 5 marks this year, so I’d probably keep an eye on them if I were you. LaFond became the 1st Dominica athlete to win a World Championship gold medal this year at the World Indoor Championships. In case you’re wondering, Dominica has no Olympic medals of any color…yet.

Men's Swimming: 100m Butterfly Final (Medal event) at 2:30 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: Shockingly, American Caeleb Dressel will not be back to defend his Olympic gold. After that win, Toyota designed a Supra based on his tattoos. They can never take that from him.

Track & Field: 4 x 400m Relay Mixed Final (Medal event) at 2:55 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: Swim relays slap. It’s been studied and proven. The transition from one swimmer to the next is both an art and a science as they try to ride the edge between not diving too soon, earning a disqualification, and not diving too late, wasting precious milliseconds. Imagine if this transition also included a transfer of an item. BOOM, you’ve got a track and field relay! All the speed in the world doesn’t matter if you can’t get the baton around the track. This is why track relays slap even more than swim relays. The 4x400m mixed relay features teams of 2 male and 2 female runners. During the 2nd leg, runners can leave their lanes and jockey for position for even more fun!

Women's Swimming: 200m Individual Medley Final (Medal event) at 2:59 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: The Individual All-Around Finals of Swimming. Who will be the Simone Biles of the pool? Probably nobody, but Canadian Summer McIntosh figures to be a strong contender to make the podium after winning the 400m version of this event. This is her 2nd Olympic Games, which is especially insane since she’s just 17 years old.

Women's Soccer Quarterfinal: France vs. Brazil at 3 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: Imagine if the 1998 Chicago Bulls had to win game 6 against Utah to extend Michael Jordan’s career, but Jordan couldn’t play. This is the women’s soccer version of that. The legendary Marta will sit this one out after earning a red card in her previous match. Brazil has to defeat the host nation’s squad or this could be the end of her incredible international career.

Women's Swimming: 800m Freestyle Final (Medal event) at 3:09 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: The event that introduced Katie Ledecky to the world. She won her first Olympic gold in this one at the age of 15 at the 2012 London Games. A win here and she joins Michael Phelps as the only swimmers to ever win 4 Olympic gold medals in the same event. I’d put my money on her even if they made her swim it in the Seine.

Women's Track & Field: 100m Final (Medal event) at 3:20 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: What do you know, I covered this one with Coach Johnson too! But there have been some changes. Sha’Carri Richardson is the favorite as she looks to give her comeback a storybook ending. Her toughest competition was Shericka Jackson, who she beat at last year’s World Championships, but Jackson dropped out of this event earlier in the week. Richardson still has some obstacles in her way. The legendary Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce is here and still has some life in her legs as she looks to wrap up her incredible career with one more medal.

Another Jamaican, 19-year-old Tia Clayton, is actually the name that’s been brought up to me the most by other Jamaicans. When Fraser-Pryce burst onto the scene in 2008 to win her 1st Olympic gold, she was a relative unknown internationally with a PR of 10.85 and a 2nd place finish in the Jamaican Trials. Clayton has her own PR of 10.86 and guess where she finished in the Jamaican Trials? And did I mention that Shelly-Ann’s coach back in 2008, Stephen Francis, is Clayton’s coach? 

If you’re looking for someone who is neither American nor Jamaican, look no further than Julien Alfred of Saint Lucia. She’s the only sprinter other than Sha’Carri to run a sub-10.8 this year. She’s a complete runner who has won the 60m at World Indoors this year and is a threat to win gold in the 200m later on at the Olympics. I. AM. EXCITED!

Swimming: Mixed 4 x 100m Medley Relay Final (Medal event) at 3:33 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: Swim relay finals always slap, and there’s a rumor going around that they read what I wrote about track relays and will be instituting a rule, effective immediately, requiring swimmers to transition by trading goggles!

Happy Watching!