Screen Shots: Thursday, August 1st, 2024

Welcome to Screen Shots! This is where I tell you what you should watch on TV. It’s going to be a very sports-centric list since that’s really the only thing we have left that you simply must watch live. Speaking of watching things, you should watch me on YouTube! Have your own suggestions? Shoot me an email at [email protected]!

Obviously, athletes go to a lot of extremes to make it to this level, but I may have heard the most extreme training protocol of my life this morning during NBC’s coverage of the men’s triathlon. As we’ve discussed, the Seine River is polluted with sewage water to the point that they had to delay the men’s event by a day for pollution levels to go down. Turns out rain was BAD for this, contrary to my previous reporting. One athlete, who had more foresight than Olympic officials, prepared for this by attempting to microdose E.Coli during his training. That’s right, he stopped washing his hands, undercooked his food, and did anything he thought would introduce the bacteria into his body at levels that wouldn’t make him sick while still providing some immunity to whatever is lurking in the Seine. I am very much not a doctor or scientist but don’t do this. To the events!

Women's Basketball: France vs. Nigeria at 11:15 a.m. ET on Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: Nigeria opened things up by stunning Australia for their first Olympic win since 2004. They managed to do so in spite of the Nigerian Olympic Committee, which has repeatedly dropped the ball across all sports at this Games. Their failure to inform this team about the lack of passes available for the Nigerian boat during opening ceremonies resulted in members traveling three hours just to be turned away. On top of that, sprinter Favour Ofili won’t be competing in the women’s 100m after the NOC simply failed to enter her in the event. These athletes deserve better.

Men's Canoe Slalom: Kayak Single Final (Medal event) at 11:30 a.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: The only time I’ve ever had to manually power a watercraft has been during flounder-gigging excursions. For those unfamiliar, the boat is in shallow, calm water as you stand up and help guide it with a long pole. It is incredibly easy, yet I still have sore shoulders for days afterward. I will never understand how competitors are able to move in this event, much less steer themselves around obstacles. Also, add The River Wild to your movie list. It’s all I can think about when I watch this. Kevin Bacon, Meryl Streep, and the kid from Jurassic Park.

Women's Gymnastics: All-Around Final (Medal event) at 12:15 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: Americans Simone Biles and Suni Lee each have a shot to add a second women’s all-around Olympic gold to a trophy case that’s probably pretty full by now. Only two competitors in the history of women’s gymnastics have accomplished that feat (Larisa Latynina and Věra Čáslavská). Either one is a safe bet as an American woman has taken home the crown 5 Games in a row. Brazilian Rebeca Andrade is the biggest threat to end the American dominance. She earned the silver medal in Tokyo and also won gold in the individual all-around at the 2022 World Championships.

Women's 3x3 Basketball: Germany vs. Azerbaijan at 12:30 p.m. ET on Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: The German women breezed past Team USA in game one. Azerbaijan features a couple of American-born players, Tiffany Hayes and Marcedes Walker, who played a couple of games on the 2008 Houston Comets. Much to my dismay, this was the Comets’ last season in the WNBA. The pace of 3x3 basketball always catches me off-guard. I guess I expect to see the version played at LA Fitness where you get 15-minute breaks while the old guys argue over a call. This is not that.

Men's 20km Race Walk (Medal event) at 1:30 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com 

Women's 20km Race Walk (Medal event) at 3:20 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: This used to be called “pedestrianism” back in the day. Way back in the day. They have judges to make sure athletes are maintaining contact with the ground with one foot the entire time. The interesting little loophole to this is that to actually break this rule it has to be visible to the human eye. No slo-mo replay disqualifications here. Tune in to see if they explain how anybody gets into this sport because it’s beyond me. It’s certainly an athletic accomplishment though. The current world record is 1:16:36 for men and 1:23:49 for women. The fastest I’ve run HALF of that distance is 53 minutes.

Women's Fencing: Foil Team Gold Medal Match at 2:30 p.m. ET on E!, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: We’re fencing people now. Simple as that.

Women's Swimming: 200m Butterfly Final (Medal event) at 2:30 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: A little trivia for basketball fans who grew up in the ‘90s: co-host of NBA Inside Stuff, Summer Sanders, won the gold medal in this event at the 1992 Olympic Games. What happened to shows like this? Do kids not care about sports anymore? You’d get a couple of interviews, highlights from the week, Ahmad Rashad calling everybody his “main man,” etc. Let’s revive this one with me as one of the co-hosts. 

Men's Swimming: 200m Backstroke Final (Medal event) at 2:37 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: If American Ryan Murphy finds the podium in this one, he will become the first male swimmer to medal in both the 100m backstroke and 200m backstroke in three consecutive Olympic games. Murphy is not to be confused with former Team USA 200m backstroker Ryan Lochte, who became famous for being dumb. 

Women's Swimming: 200m Breaststroke Final (Medal event) at 3:03 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: Tatjana Smith, representing South Africa, returns as the reigning Olympic champion. She’s already claimed gold in the 100m version of this event. Sticking with our theme of basketball and mistaken identity, Team USA has a competitor named Kate Douglass, not to be confused with former WNBA star Katie Douglas. 

Women's Swimming: 4 x 200m Freestyle Relay Final (Medal event) at 3:48 p.m. ET on NBC, Peacock and NBCOlympics.com

Why you should watch: Relay. Finals. Always. Slap.

Happy Watching!